10/10/2007 - Thoughts on the floor - stream of conciousness

All I wish for is one quiet moment. That's it, just to gather my thoughts. I think I left them in the laundry that's spread across my bedroom floor. Every time I try to think, this piece of mind gets in the way. Just yammering away about the common place, or the not so common place. Sometimes imagining great and amazing things, like stopping bullets, or moving through time. Then I open my eyes and all I've got is a laundry of thoughts on the floor.

No frame of mind, no peace, just pieces. At one point my perception was involuntary, I was happy not paying attention, time slipped through my fingers like silk. When I was sad, I lived that moment for years. I feel sorry for my pain, it doesn't have any friends so it has to bother me. I am not my pain, she just chills in the back seat, telling me that it's not my fault. It is, I choose to stop and let her in. I can feel her in the moment, but she is a passenger, and I am on my own quest. It shouldn't be long now, I'll let her out on the side of the road. Joy can come and go whenever she pleases.